Searching for the way forward

I am searching for a new faith community. There are some things that have been in the back of my mind for a while now, concerning where I worship. The place that I am affliated with now served its purpose for a number of years, but it seems now that I am drawn to a different type of worship experience.

One of the things that has bothered me recently is the lack of focus on Biblical teachings. Growing up as I did in the Reformed tradition, usually attending Presbyterian or Reformed Church in America congregations, I was taught at a very early age that the Bible is a powerful resource for personal and spiritual growth. I have used several translations over the years, searching each for the meaning and message that I was lead to at that period in my life. I realized recently that my children are lacking this knowledge and this fact bothered me on a visceral level. I realized that a change needed to be made.

The second thing that I have been thinking about recently is that Communion is not a part of the worship practice at our most recent church. I enjoy Communion; once again, it is part of my upbringing and I believe that the Biblical teachings regarding the Lord's Supper are relevant and an important part of my faith journey. Quite simply, I miss it.

So yesterday, we tried out a new church. My youngest went to the Children's program but my oldest daughter chose to worship in the sanctuary with me. Well, 10 minutes into the service, she turned to me, her face glowing, and said "This church is really cool, Mommy!". What else needs to be said? If she is intrigued, then I made the right choice. Do you know how hard it is to capture (and hold) the interest of a "tween"?

The best part of all was that the service included the Lord's Supper. As I shared the bread and wine with other believers, I felt a deep sense of peace and belonging. I made the right choice.

Life is changing and I must adapt

I don't think that any of us expect the things that happen to us. We just don't see it coming: the divorce, the lost friendship, the car accident, the hurricane, the illness that changes everything. I know I certainly didn't think "Oh yes, I expect I will be divorced one day" or "I believe that I will become too sick to do my job". We just don't think it will happen to us....

Well, guess what? It has happened. On a Friday night in November of 2007, I felt a strange pain developing on my neck near my left ear. There was a huge lump and I could barely turn my head. The next day I found out that, rather than the ear infection that I thought it was, I had extremely swollen lymph nodes. Nothing has been the same since that day. In the space of one day, I stopped being Christine, Senior Quality Assurance Analyst with a great paying job and became Christine, sick person with no job.

I know now what happened but it took many, many tests to figure it out and some doctors, even now, do not believe or understand what happened to me. The villian in this piece is the Epstein-Barr virus, a common but little understood virus. This nasty thing has completely turned my life upside down, inside out and back again. Some people get a little sick, recover and go about their lives. Other people get a bit sicker, take longer to recover and go about their lives. Then there are the ones like me: we get sick, stay sick and do not get better. The virus continues to do its dirty work and our immune system basically says, "Ok, do whatever you like, we will just be over here". Why some people react this way is the mystery that someone, someday will probably solve. But for now, for me, it is like having mono or the flu all the time.

So now I have to reinvent my life. I have to adjust, do things differently and figure things out as I go. And I will figure it out. I know this. And do you know why I know? Because I have FAITH. I believe that God has a plan for my life and that everything happens for good. Even this. I just have to adapt. And I will.