How to Meditate

When you think of Meditation, this may conjure an image of a white-robed guru, sitting in a mountain top cave and fasting for days on end to seek enlightenment. Fortunately, meditation is not that demanding. Meditation is used in many spiritual traditions, and is a useful technique for getting in touch with the Divine Mind or God presence of your belief system. Meditation quiets your mind so you can hear the small voice of intuition or spirit. Meditation is often recommended for dealing with stress and reducing anxiety. It is very easy and convenient to meditate once you understand the basic principles. Here are the three principles of effective meditation:

• A quiet mind
• A quiet mind
• A quiet mind

That's it in a nutshell -- a quiet mind. It sounds easy, but many people find that achieving a quiet mind can be challenging. Though some people indicate that incense, candles, special lighting, and a dedicated space are useful, I have found in my personal experience that they are not necessary. With practice, you'll be able to meditate on a quiet walk or in a crowded airport.

Now, let's try a very basic meditation; though this technique is great for beginners, it can also serve you well for a lifetime. Remember, we're striving for a quiet, focused mind.

Find a place without distractions. Sit erect in a straight backed chair with your feet flat on the floor and forearms resting in your lap. Another comfortable position may be in your favorite armchair or lying on your bed.

Take several deep, slow breaths. With each deep breath, your stomach should rise and fall. Be aware of each breath as you inhale, hold it for a few seconds and exhale. Continue slow, deep breathing while you close your eyes.

Relax your shoulders and neck. Relax your jaws. Breathe slowly and regularly. Relax in turn your arms, torso, legs, and feet.

Continue to breathe deeply.

As you breathe, think of a word or phrase and repeat it slowly and steadily as you breathe. A phrase that works well is "I am the I am that I am seeking" but there are many others. Find one that works for you.

Focus on mentally drawing back from any thoughts that occupy your mind. Watch each thought as it passes by but don't attach yourself to the thought. Just watch it pass by.

Repeat your calming phrase, concentrating on each word individually as you continue to breathe deeply.

Remain in this state for 5 minutes if you can. It's okay if you fall asleep; it shows that you were able to deeply relax. But sleep is not the purpose of meditation. The purpose is a deep, quiet period of connection with your inner self.

Don't be discouraged if you have difficulty the first few times you practice this technique. Learning to quiet your mind takes practice, but the benefits of connecting with inner self as well as connecting with your understanding of the The Father-Mother God cannot be underestimated.

How to Reduce Anxiety and Worrying

If there is one thing that almost all parents have in common, it is that we worry. We worry about our kids, we worry about our finances, we worry about the future, and sometimes we even worry about the past. While some level of anxiety is good and can help us focus and take care of what is important, too much anxiety is bad for us and bad for our kids.

Just what is anxiety? Generally, anxiety is defined as sense of uneasiness about the future. These feelings affect both the body and the mind. When you become anxious, your body releases a hormone called adrenaline. It is nature's way of warning you that danger (both real and imagined) is imminent. As anxiety increases, you are likely to experience symptoms such as a pounding heart, quickened breathing and perspiration. The more you worry about something, the stronger these symptoms are likely to become.

Many people experience mild to moderate episodes of anxiety. For some, such nervousness may interfere with their ability to enjoy life fully. In some cases, the symptoms become severe and a panic atack results. Physical symptoms intensify the attack: sweating, racing heart, rapid pulse, feeling faint or as if one is choking. At this point, medical attention is usually required.

For most of us, there are steps you can take to reduce or even eliminate your anxious feelings.

• Keep a positive attitude. Try the Complaint-Free Challenge.
• Accept that there are events that you cannot control.
• Be assertive instead of aggressive. Assert your feelings, opinions, or beliefs instead of becoming angry, defensive, or passive.
• Learn and practice relaxation techniques; try meditation, yoga, or tai-chi.
• Exercise regularly. Your body can fight stress better when it is fit.
• Eat healthy, well-balanced meals.
• Learn to manage your time more effectively.
• Set limits appropriately and say no to requests that would create excessive stress in your life.
• Make time for hobbies and interests. Do what you enjoy doing!
• Get enough rest and sleep. Your body needs time to recover from stressful events.
• Don't rely on alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviors to reduce stress.
• Seek out social support. Spend enough time with those you love. Plan a fun activity with your children.

It is very important to remember that if these techniques aren't effective or your anxiety interfers with your day-to-day activities, it is time to seek the advice of a medical professional.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

Don Miguel Ruiz is known as a nagual, or shaman, of the Toltec tradition. The Toltecs were an ancient group of scientists and artists that was formed to explore and preserve the practices and spiritual knowledge of the ancient ones. It is not a religion, but a way of life that embraces spirit and honors all the spiritual masters who have taught on the earth. Toltec wisdom arises from the same essential unity of truth as other sacred esoteric traditions that are found all over the world.

The Four Agreements are very simple, yet very profound. The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book is a beautiful instruction guide to achieve a life of freedom and happiness. Don Miguel Ruiz goes step-by-step, with practical advice and examples, to help us achieve these four agreements. Embracing and living the Four Agreements is a challenging yet amazing rewarding experience which will lead you on a road to personal freedom and enlightment.

The Four Agreements

Be Impeccable With Your Words - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Don't Take Anything Personally - Nothing that others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

Don't Make Assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Always Do Your Best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Ruiz has so much to offer in this brillantly written book. One thing to remember, however, is that Toltec wisdom, by definition, is an ancient wisdom. Is this some new, revolutionary technology for self-improvement? No, the fact is that in one way, shape or form, we've all heard these types of admonitions from other sources in our lives. What Ruiz does well is package them in a novel way and provide practical insights into how we can best apply them. The bottom line is that, even if you've heard something like this before, it never hurts to be reminded about good advice you've received in the past.

Related Reading:

What makes my family different

I have wondered about this many times. Exactly how different are single parents and their families? People - usually married people - are very fond of telling me that single parents are not appreciably different than parents with partners. How many time have I heard "I'm married, but I may as well be a single parent. He doesn't do anything with the kids." Believe me when I say I have heard this a lot.

Well, guess what, my mis-guided friends, we are different. And there is a special group among single parents that are even more unique. By that I mean that our children literally and legally do not have a father. That's right, my children, because I adopted them as a single mother, do not have a father on their birth certificate. And this fact makes me and my family different.

Now, I am not saying that different is a bad thing. It's just.... different. I am very open with my children and we discuss a lot of things (at an age-appropriate level, of course). I read a lot of books to give me insight and ideas, some of which you can see here on the blog. I am building their self-esteem in a variety of ways that emphasizes their own uniqueness in the world and that they are special and valued and incredible, whether they have a "father" or not. Our faith in the Father-Mother-God and in Jesus the Christ as the Way-Shower steadies us in difficult times, but your family may have other beliefs that do the same thing.

My point and what I try to emphasis with my girls, is that we are all different. Everyone has their own unique situation and experiences. Our uniqueness just happens to result from being an all-girl family and that's cool with us..... because, in the immortal words of my 1st grader, "Girls Rule and Boys Drool, Forever!".

Forever for a 1st grader is different that my concept of forever but the "boys drool" concept doesn't sound too far off. There have been times ... but that, I suppose, is another topic for another post...

Meanwhile, celebrate and embrace the uniqueness of whatever your situation is and make it work FOR YOU!

Learn to Live with Pain, Then Go One Better

Please read this truly profound writing by a fantastic blogger who gets right to the heart of what faith truly is
Learn to Live with Pain, Then Go One Better ~ Christian Spirituality w/ Edges

Put on your own oxygen mask first

If you have ever flown on a plane, you have heard the flight attendant say something similar to "If you are traveling with anyone needing your assistance, please put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others". This statement can be viewed in a broader context as a a way to live a richer and more full life. We must take of ourselves before we can take care of others. Here
are some suggestions for refreshing your body and mind.

1. Read a short story that you can totally lose yourself in.
2. Meditate. Here's how: select a short statement of two or three words. "God is love" is a good one, but there are many others. Close your eyes and settle your body in your chair or on your bed. Breathe in deeply, saying the first word or two of your chosen phrase. Breathe out fully, saying the remainder of your chosen phrase. Repeat.
3. Call one of your greatest, most compassionate friends and do not talk about kids (yours or hers) for the entire conversation.
4. Get a babysitter and go to a movie. Alone.
5. Smile for no other reason than it feels great.
6. Sit outside and breathe fresh air. (Hint: may be combined with #2)
7. If it is possible where you live, sit by a body of water - a river, a stream, a lake - and enjoy the peacefulness of water.
8. Go to bed an hour early.
9. Aromatherapy really works. Light a candle of your favorite scent (lavendar is especially soothing) and breathe deeply.
10. Get up fifteen minutes early so you can linger over a cup of coffee or hot tea.

God's Love

As this week comes to a close, let us keep in mind the greatest love of all - God's love.

Werever we are, whatever we do, we are enfolded in God's love. In times of stress or sadness, we can depend on God's love to see us through to happier times. When we are faced with decisions that must be made, we can know that God's love is guiding us to right conclusions.

There is never a time that we are alone, for God is always with us.

Like a warm blanket draped across our shoulders on a cold night, God's love provides us with comfort and security. A feeling of peace fills our hearts, and we giv thanks for God's endless love. We let love guide us in all aspects of our lives. As God's precious love flows throught out beings, we know that all is well.